The Door of Jimmy’s fish and chip shop opened and two young adults came in. They sat down in front of the counter and Jimmy swiped off the tear of sweat coming down his face.
‘What Would you like to eat?’ said Jimmy with a fake smile.
‘Lemme get a large portion of chips.’ said one of the young adults as he took out a 5 pound note.
‘Tyrone tell him to make it quick fam we need to be outta here because.’said the other young adult.
Tyrone cut him off and said ‘Shut up Jay your so bait’
Jimmy acted as if he never heard and said ‘That’ll be one pound fifty’
‘Here you go. Hurry up though, I’m hungry’ said the young adult.
Jimmy handed the 3 pound fifty change and started frying the chips.
‘Ai boss loads of white guys who look dodgy come in here init?’ asked Jay
‘Erm yeah I have but…’ said Jimmy
Tyrone cut him off and spat out a chip ‘Ugh thats flipping cold!’
Crap, Opps, Sorry, My bad. Jimmy and the short Cook were so scared he had no idea what to say.
Tyrone stood up and dashed the chair. He grabbed his bag of chips and through it behind the counter.
‘Gimme my money back or else!’ Shouted Tyrone
‘Or else what’ Said Jimmy bravely
‘Jimmy don’t say anything i’ll fry another portion for him’ Said the short cook
‘ Heh you better little cook.’ said Jay
Jay went into the room with the little cook.
‘ LOL Little cook Make sure you make it quick cos you English people cant cook to save your life.’ SAid Tyrone
‘Exactly all you know how to cook is bangers and mash. Said Jay as he started laughing
‘Put the kettle on Heather’ Said Tyrone who also started laughing
‘So Jimmy or whatever your name is does a man named Frank come in here often?’ Said tyrone
‘Ive heard of him before’ said Jimmy
‘He’s about five foot eight, Fat , always wears a top hat.’ Explained Tyrone
‘Oh Yeah and he comes in with two bodyguards’ said Jimmy
Jimmy put his hand in his pocket to get a knife.
Tyrone notices Jimmy.
‘Ai whats that you have in your pocket, eh?!’ Exclaimed Tyrone as he jumped over the counter.
‘Keep an eye on Little cook, yeah?’
‘Don’t worry bruv ill take care of his yute’ said Jay
Tyrone tried to put his hand in Jimmy’s pocket but Jimmy interfered and pushed Tyrone.
‘Whats this chav doing?’
‘Do you want me to blow your head off?’
A short fat man walked into the shop with two armed men.
“Hehe Jay… and Tyrone’ said the fat man
Everyone gulped and stared at the fat man.
‘Errm Frank, wus good?’
‘Don’t cant to me like that where the hell is my money?’ said Frank
‘Lowe it Frank we’ll get your dough ASAP’ said Jay as he walked back to the counter.
‘ASAP is what you said 2 flipping weeks ago you twat.’
‘Give us 48 hours and we’ll have it y then, yeah?’
Tyrone and Jay looked at each other nervously because the knew they didn’t have the money they owed.
‘Psst, I got a plan `Lets run out of the back door yeah?’ whispered Jay
‘So we can end this once and for all?’ Whispered back Jay
They both jumped over the counter, Barged the short cook and Jimmy and they ran out the door.
Frank stared at the door and smashed his can off Fanta.
Jay and Tyrone ran towards their block.
They were both out of breath but Jay pulled out a bottle of Evian out of his pouch.
‘Lemme sky some’ demanded Tyrone
‘Here’ said Jay as he handed the bottle to Tyrone.
Tyrone arrived to his house and opened his birch wood door
‘Mum?!’ shouted Tyrone
There was no answer
‘Mum?!’ shouted Tyrone still no answer
Tyrone went to his room and sat down on his bed
He couldn’t stop thinking about the money.
He Opened a money box on his desk and took out a £20 note.
A shed of a tear came out of his eye and realized it wasn’t enough.

February 4, 2016 at 9:05 am
This is an interesting adaptation, Andres, which you have been successful in adapting for the stage. I am impressed by the way in which you have tried to update Hemingway’s ideas and also put your own spin on things. Some of the less convincing elements are the more melodramatic ones, though.
Watch your technical accuracy. You are still not punctuating properly the speech that you are using. This area needs careful revision, especially if you are writing in this style.
“Modern Adaptation” unlocked.